Communication

6/25/2013 class

Today was fascinating!!!
We learned about communication and some important concepts.

Here they are in bullet form:

• be careful about assumptions
• we are always communicating, and some times we are not aware of it.
• most of the communication that happens is not through words

My teacher who has been a therapist for 25 years, and has done research on many things affecting a family. He told us that our non-verbal communication, accounts for half of our communication. Our words only accounts fro 14%, and our tone for 35%. 

When my professor gave us these numbers, I found the previously mentioned bullet point information to be true. The tone of someone's voice can sometimes be very clear, even when there words are saying the opposite.

In our class, we also touched on sarcasm and what it is. 

Sarcasm -- is insults through love, or in a humerous tone that you don't mean. 

So the words go one way, while the truth of the words go the opposite way. 

My mother tried for years to get us to stop using sarcasm, because it is hurtful even in a joke. That shows that they  were thinking mean thoughts, but put it in a funny way. She disapproved of the use of sarcasm. I didn't really understand what the big fuss about it, until I came up here to college and had roommates and friends who never used it. They seemed much more sincere, kind, and wonderful all around because they did not use sarcasm. 

I know that I am still at fault for using it, but now understanding it a little better, I want to try and improve and not use it. 

My professor said in our communication we need to not communicate so clearly that you can be understood, but also that you can not be misunderstood. 

that is clarity.

So.. what can we do to improve our communications?

• active listening -- restate what the person just said.. is this what I understood you to say?
• validating cares
• express what you are feeling and why.
• keep an open mind
• patience
• respond with grace
• don't beat around the bush -- be direct 

This list was generate in our class. I think it has very good ideas. If we could all work on improving our communications with one another, we would be SO much better off!! :)